TA Leave A Message - BRANDPHILE

Inspiration: Written two months after losing her father, “DON’T” reflects the deeply personal experience of grief and the frustration that comes when others, despite their good intentions, can’t fully understand the depth of the loss.

Theme: Captures the raw emotions of navigating grief—anger, confusion, and isolation—while expressing the sentiment that no one can truly know what you’re going through.

“I wrote “DON’T” two months after losing my dad. I never realized how people’s well-meaning comments or attempts to help with grief could sometimes come across as dismissive or condescending. It made me understand that grief is so personal—only you can truly grasp the depth of the relationship and the loss. Even those with the best intentions don’t fully get it. So, for all the anger and confusion that comes with that, there’s really only one word that feels right: DON’T. Just don’t.”

VERSE ONE
I probably should shower
I probably should eat
But I don’t feel like doing anything
My year is all wasted
My days are a blur
But lucky for me It can’t get much worse

PRE
So I sit in pajamas
And write some sad songs
I think about life
and where it all went wrong
People all tell me to hold it together
But they can’t promise
that it actually gets better

CHORUS
So don’t, Just don’t
Say what I’m feeling
You think you know, But you don’t
You don’t live in my skin
I really hope, that you don’t
Go through what I did
Cause if you know, then you really know
You can’t imagine
So don’t, don’t, just don’t

VERSE TWO
I write in my journal
I feel so sorry
For myself & where I thought I’d be
I should be.. calling the hotlines
To check myself in
Cause this is the worst
It’s ever been

PRE
So I sit on my bed wearing nothing at all
Scream into my pillow
n’punch a whole in the wall
And people all tell me
you know it gets better
But saying that shit doesn’t make it all better

BRIDGE
If you’ve walked a mile
In my shoes, then let’s talk
If you want fake smiles
You know I’d rather not
And sometimes the trials
don’t know where to stop
But I’m not a liar and this ain’t a write off

CHORUS
So don’t, Just don’t
Say what I’m feeling
You think you know, But you dont
You don’t live in my skin
I really hope, that you don’t
Go through what I did
Cause if you know, then you really know
You can’t imagine
So don’t, don’t, just don’t

Track 2: Come Back Soon

Inspiration: The longing and emptiness felt after her father’s passing. Captures the raw emotion of missing her father, with vivid imagery of his untouched bedroom and the final moments they shared.

Theme: A heartfelt plea for comfort and connection, even across the divide of life and death.

“This was my anthem of ‘I miss you.’ The song is sung through tears to give me comfort and hope that somewhere in heaven my dad was able to hear my call and longing of how much emptier life felt without him. From his bedroom that was untouched, him not knowing it’d be his last time in California or on a plane, and all of a sudden there were the remnants without the person. Though we had a 3-5 year warning that time was short, it just felt like we were robbed or somehow if we could undo it, we could linger in one more moment of the haven of home and conversation and love.”

VERSE ONE
I’ve been sleeping in his bed
While he’s away cause I miss him
I pull the covers to my chest
keep his room just like he left it
i hear his voice inside my head
No reply to the message I sent
I hear It echoing
That I’ll never see him again

CHORUS
Oh I miss you
So come back soon
It was written up in the stars but we blew it
Our time would come to an end & we knew it
Oh I wish it wasn’t true
Please just come back soon

VERSE TWO
I’ve been having real weird dreams
Where he’s right there next to me
He’ll ask me all about my day
Like he never had to leave

I’ve been playing my piano
He always listened with his eyes closed
He would tell me he loved it sooo
Now I hear him in every note

CHORUS
Oh I miss you
So come back soon
It was written up in the stars but we blew it
Our time would come to an end & we knew it
Oh I wish it wasn’t true
Please just come back soon

CHORUS
Cause I miss you
So come back soon
(Alt b line?) It happened so fast,
don’t know what I was doing
Now I Say farewell to my life as i knew it
Oh I wish it wasn’t true
Please just come back soon

BRIDGE
I wish we could rewind
Play it back just one more time
Say I love you forever
Cause you know I hate goodbyes
X2

CHORUS
Cause I miss you
Please come back soon
Now I don’t know how I’ll ever get through it
Yeah you don’t know what you got til you lose it
Oh I wish it wasn’t true
Please just come back soon

Track 3: Permanent

Inspiration: Her father’s role as a problem-solver and the struggle to cope with his absence. A powerful expression of grief and the need for her father’s comforting presence during the hardest times.

Theme: The anger and confusion of dealing with loss, and the desire for one last piece of fatherly advice.

“My dad was a man of wonders, Mr. Solution. I don’t know how dads do it, but they somehow have a fix to everything. He always reassured every situation and gave me the tools and keys I needed to be a proactive, curious, and resourceful woman; EVERYTHING had an answer or fix. So as I sat with loss and was perplexed by how we exist one day… and don’t the next, I got angry. He never taught me how to deal with something so vast and intangible as death. Though I experienced loss, this was a quantum leap into the unimaginable. So this was a bit of an angry cry for wishing my dad could teach me one more thing, and that I needed my dad more than anything in this moment of grief; to console me and give the comforting words he so effortlessly did.”

VERSE ONE
Time beats slow
But it’s not long enough, no
Hands turn cold
Just wanna hold you close
But your heart stands still
As I try to wrap my head around it
Only one more hour
Before I never see that face of yours again

CHORUS
How did this happen
I don’t understand
Just give me a reason
Cause it’s not what we planned
You always had a solution
No problem too big
Nothing too broken
That it couldn’t be fix
But you never told me before you left
You never told me, never told me
Yeah you never told me before you left
How to fix something permanent
Like this

VERSE TWO
Can’t turn back
I see blurry images, yeah
Dressed in black
Share our fondest memories of him
And the grass is green
Where we’re bout to lay you down to rest
And you carried me
Now it’s our turn to carry you instead

BRIDGE
You taught me how
To call triple A
Hit the ice, pump the breaks
How to ask for forgiveness
When I make a mistake
How to be kind to strangers
If I can spare some change
And to keep my heart open if my heart ever breaks
But you never told me how..

Track 4: Blue

Inspiration: The color blue, symbolizing her father’s eyes and the pervasive sense of loss. A melancholic yet beautiful tribute to her father, seeing him in the blue of the ocean, the sky, and her own emotions.

Theme: The omnipresence of her father’s memory in everything blue around her.

“Blue is the color of my dad’s ocean eyes. The color that reminds me of him. As I wrote this, I sat with everything blue in my life, feeling blue, as the weather was blue and the ocean was blue… yet it all pointed back to my dad. Blue was the hue of loss. So since he passed, it’s all blue, and I will forever see him in everything around me.”

Then I started thinking, “Well, that would be intriguing because I’m already married, so I don’t really need to ask my wife, ‘Hey, would you want to come over?’ since we live together.” But I thought it would be playful to consider a marriage like that too, to think of it more in those playful first-date kind of ways. So, we wrote the song around the idea of me asking my wife again to date me, asking her again if she wanted to be with me, even though we’re already together. It’s a fun, light, and playful look at a relationship that is 12 years in, exploring the things I would do to impress her if I had to win her over again. “All Night” is all about that—just asking my wife, essentially, “Would you be mine again?”

VERSE ONE
I go to the ocean when I don’t know how to
Deal with my emotions
Might do something reckless
I couldn’t resist
Got some ink on my skin wrist?*
I know mom will be pissed

CHORUS
But I know youd
Ask me all about this new tattoo
Then crack a joke just like you’d always do
I see the sky I see your eyes so blue
It’s all blue

VERSE TWO
I know blue has a bad reputation
Down pour, eeyore, like it’s always raining
When I’m crying these tears
& months turn to years
I know you’ll still be here

CHORUS
And I know you
Are the strength I feel that helps me to get through
On days like when I don’t know what to do
I see the sky I see your eyes so blue
It’s all blue, It’s all blue

BRIDGE
It’s all blue, it’s all blue
Without you
X 4

CHORUS
If I could choose
Life would have let me hold onto you
Just a little longer it’s so cruel
To take someone and just leave all this blue
It’s all blue.. it’s all blue

Track 5: When I Drive

Inspiration: A spontaneous purchase of a Mustang and a memorable drive with her father.

Theme: Celebrating life’s simple joys and the importance of living in the moment.

“Inspired purely by my real-life quarter-life crisis. I bought a Mustang one day and my dad’s proud reaction and happiness for me was a memory for the books. He loved sports cars in high school and owned a red Corvette, and he thought it was the coolest thing and got a kick out of me getting it, but more so was so proud of how hard I work and reminded me that life is so short and we should enjoy our hard work when and while we can. So we took it for a drive and the song is history! It feels like a memory that seems so simple… just a drive with my dad, but it was so, so special and his laugh and smile as we picked up speed is priceless. And of course, now when I drive, I’ll always think of him by my side.”

VERSE ONE
I bought a mustang on a whim
My dad thought it was cool
So we took it out that night for a spin
Down foothill boulevard
We put the top down
We put our hands up
And we screamed out loud

PRE
He said,“You really deserve this
Cause you work so hard
You work so hard
And you, you know you’re worth it
And to me you’re a star
To me you’re a star

CHORUS
So now when I drive
I think of enjoying life
I think of that night and
How proud you were
To be by my side
So now when I drive
I take a deep look inside
To hear what you’d say to me
Every time there’s doubt in my mind
I think of you when I drive

VERSE TWO
When the roads winding
And the hills are ahead
When I’m stuck in a cloud
And I can’t see where I am going
You say to buckle up
Just turn the music up
Roll the window down & enjoy the ride

PRE
Do I really deserve this
When it seems so hard
Seems so hard
But you told me I’m worth it
So now when I’m in the^*(my) car
You’re my North Star

BRIDGE
But if I listen
To the whispers of the wind
You say sometimes you gotta give a little
To get some in return
But no one else can ever take whats yours
Yeah sometimes in life
You gotta let the old ideas burn
Hit the gas and trust the universe

CHORUS
So now when I drive
I finally come alive
You made me believe,
Nothing could stop me
Cause the world is mine
Now when I drive
You’re my star in the sky
No matter how dark it is
I know you’ll always be by my side
I think of you when I drive
I think of you when I drive

Track 6: When The Hard Times Come

Inspiration: A conversation with her father about resilience and the strength found in cherished memories. Reflects on her father’s life and the timeless wisdom he imparted, inspired by a poignant childhood photo of her father.

Theme: Embracing life’s highs and lows, and finding beauty in every season of life.

“I actually started this song after a conversation with my dad when he said, ‘when the hard times come… and they surely will.’ I loved the way it sounded and told him I was gonna make that into a song! It’s about how whenever hard times come, it’s all the good memories that make us strong and push us through to the next ‘good time.’ After he passed, I decided to pivot the song to capture my dad’s life in essence with this conversation being the core. It’s not about the lows but the beautiful highs that make life so rich, the priceless moments.”